I read articles all the time about where tourists visiting Los Angeles can see stars. There are also maps to the stars homes (although Jack Benny and Lucille Ball have moved to more permanent residences. ). But what about all those millions of visitors who come to Tinsel Town just to catch a glimpse at writers? There’s yet to be an article about that….Until now.
So for those of you scribe groupies hoping to see an actual TV or screenwriter this summer vacation, here are some places to go:
NATE N’ AL’S – This perennial Beverly Hills delicatessen is officially Broadway Danny Rose west. Here is where old comedy writers go to die of heart failure. Usually in tables of five or more, piled high with pastrami sandwiches (“I’m hungry now that I’ve quit smoking!”) the old sitcom guard holds court, trading stories of the good old days when Elizabeth Montgomery was a doll to work with but that Cosby kid was a handful. (“Two comedy albums and suddenly he knows funny!”) Morning meetings between writers and agents, managers, or producers start about 9. The ones that are over by 10 are working writers, the ones that go on til 11 are not.
THE AMC THEATRES, CENTURY CITY – weekday matinees only. Usually in pairs. Listen for the keywords: “Who greenlit this shit?”
THE FARMERS’ MARKET FOOD COURT – weekday mornings, early. They have coffee, read the trades, bitch about their fantasy baseball teams, and get the hell out before all the tour busses arrive.
Every STARBUCKS and COFFEE BEAN on Ventura Blvd between Vineland and White Oak. They’re easy to spot, sitting in front of computers, nursing one $3.00 ice blended for eight hours.
ART’S DELICATESSEN – Studio City. The San Fernando Valley equivalent of Nate N’ Al’s. Close to CBS Radford with oversized artery clogging triple deck sandwiches that include pastrami AND chopped liver. The one-time popular haunt of all the MTM writers so it’s kind of a shrine.
CEDARS SINAI HOSPITAL – West Hollywood. Home for all reunions of GRACE UNDER FIRE, CYBILL, and ROSEANNE writers.
THE SMOKE HOUSE – Burbank. Across the street from Warner Brothers studio. The bar area. Leave it to writers to think a good place to pick up chicks is at an old style red booth restaurant that’s been around since John Barrymore used to pass out there. Historic note: Captain & Tennille were discovered playing the Smoke House lounge – thus adding even more to the hip factor.
THE AROMA CAFÉ – Cute little coffee house with cute outdoor patio. On Tujunga Blvd in the valley mere steps from where Robert Blake had the love of his life whacked.
RESIDUALS – A bar in the valley that used to let writers pay for drinks with residual checks that were under a dollar. They eventually had to stop that practice because they were getting too many. I myself have received a check from THE SIMPSONS for one cent. And I’m sure it cost $5.00 to process and mail the check.
THE BRENTWOOD COUNTRY MART – Westside smaller version of the Farmers’ Market Food Court. Writers and news anchors hang out here. You’ll have no trouble telling which is which.
THE OAKWOOD GARDEN APARTMENTS -- Burbank. See recently divorced writers.
Any coffee shop above Hollywood on Franklin – Lots of guys trying to write the next PULP FICTION. Or TIL’ DEATH.
Happy hunting. One rule though: no handing out spec scripts! Let me repeat that:
NO HANDING OUT SCRIPTS!
Either working writers will be pissed or non-working writers will give you theirs.
32 comments :
Hilarious, inventing your own stalkers. Brilliant!
No handing out specs? Thanks for getting my hopes up.
Why else would we want to go see writers? Why else would we want to know where they seem to clump together?
Make a list of Places Where People Will Pretend To Be Interested In My Awful Script.
Geeez. I hang at one of those Starbucks (though I don't do any work there--how could you, with so many people to make snide comments about, especially those who screwed you out of a job) with another writer and ogle all the pretty girls walking by...
Writing: my favorite spectator sport.
Look, he's started a sentence. Yes, that noun is a clear subject Wait a minute, that verb is in the passive voice. Not good. Ah, he's changed it to the active voice. Strong move. What's that at the end of that independant clause? A semicolon! Didn't see that coming. What a twist. He's coming up on the predicate now, wait for it --- wait for it --- OH! Too many modifiers! Too bad.It was going so well. And what's that? An adverb after the phrase "She said". That's four points off for a "Tom Swiftly," and now, how will he wrap it up? Oh my sweet lord, he's dangled a participle and ended on a preposition! The ref is calling a foul. He's being penalized two paragraphs.
Shakespeare is still the champ.
Art's Deli, "Where every sandwich is a work of art."
In his book, You're Lucky You're Funny, the creator of Everybody Loves Raymond mentions meetings he had at Art's. Phil Rosenthal says that slogan is on the menu.
The Captain and Tennille were discovered at the now-long-gone Smoke House in Encino, which was at Balboa and Venturs.
I remember hearing whispers that they had five thousand dollars worth of electronic gear.
This was in the '70s, when "$1 gas" was the stuff of nightmares.
Bummer - I just got back from a quick 24 hour jaunte into LA. Would have been nice to have this since we had a few hours to kill. Instead we took in Graumans and a few other sights. I guess I'll have to save this tour for my next trip.
A long time ago I used to work at Solley's Deli on Ventura in Woodland Hills (it's now a Jerry's Deli). Saw a lot of stars and well-known people there, though I think Garry Shandling is still ticked off that I wouldn't let him come in at closing time.
Thomas Wolfe used to write at Nate 'n Al's standing up, using the glass top of the refrigerated
knish/stuffed derma display counter as a desk.
P.S., not only can you still not get a decent corned beef or pastramin in all but a handful of places in Dallas (because they waste the brisket on BBQ) -- even with the damned top round variety, they don't even know how to slice it. (Oh wait, didn't we have this discussion about a year ago?)
Writers still go the Century City AMC now that the Death Star has landed? That whole Westfield Mall now is just a mess of power suits and inappropriately named Tequila shanties.
The Smokehouse is where Hank "Hey Now" Kingsley used to go after the Larry Sanders Show.
Doesn't Larry King hand at Nate n' Al's (no, I don't think that counsts as an endorsement)?
Couple of other places I found where you may run into writers if you look hard enough:
Hollywood Book and Poster, corner Hollywood and Ivar: Here you'll find any writer who's trying to procure a copy of the latest spec by Shane Black or Joe Esterhaz who couldn't get his or her hands on a free copy of it when it was being passed around the industry following its sale for about a zillion and a half dollars -- and then when they do find it, flipping through it and scratching their head and wondering what the hell made it worth all that money.
In front of Grauman's Chinese Theater: Ask anyone who's a tour guide trying to solicit customers for any of those Movieland bus tours or the like if they really do this as a full-tme job, and they'll never fail to tell you, "Yes, but I'm also working on a screenplay right now."
Roscoe's Fried Chicken and Waffles or Denny's in Gower Gulch on Sunset Blvd.: Any writer who's just found out their show was canceled or their spec feature passed on by a studio knows they'll be spending a lot of time eating in either of these two places for the foreseeable future.
Amoeba Records and CDs, also Sunset Blvd.: A place where lots of writers fool themselves into thinking "What better way to tell yourself you've just got to find the right hook to put you in the mood to start writing again than by wasting half a day in the world's largest used record and CD shop, looking for that obscure album by Moby Grape that you desperately hope someone has finally released in CD format."
The Smokehouse makes good cheese bread.
I also recommend Bally Fitness in Hollywood. Every time I work out there I see some wheezy writer talking about his script to his workout buddy while they march on the treadmill.
One time I lifted a script off of a bike and asked the guy at the next bike if it was his.
"OH! You want to read it!?" he exclaimed with joy.
"No," I said. "I just want to use the bike."
He was sad.
you forgot "roscoe's chicken and waffles" it's a great late night stop when the sunset clubs close. you'll not only see writers, you'll see the cooking and wait staffs of the clubs, and the music peeps.
Tom, I'd be interested in seeing your awful script...but I suppose you hear that all the time.
No "Musso & Frank"? I'm shocked, shocked...although I'm guessing it's more oriented towards film writers seeking to channel the spirit of Ben Hecht or Preston Sturges (who probably spent a lot of time in the place) than their TV brethren.
I myself saw the Captain & Tennille at the Smoke House in Burbank. That was the highlight of my date that night.
Musso & Frank's is another great spot. You guys are welcome to chip in your own favorite writer-spotted spots.
Press box at Dodger Stadium... second row... left side.
Sorry to be OT, but I'm going nuts trying to figure out how to put the Add This button under each post like it is here. Their web site is no help. What the heck am I missing?
Oh, and my preferred workspace is a backyard barbecue with Barack Obama.
Back when I was working at CBS television city (and I won't say for what show), I would see Paul Mazursky holding court at the Farmers Market near Bob's. You could tell he was the only director there and everyone else was a writer, because he was the only one allowed to express an opinion, usually about the Yankees.
Musso & Frank. Martini. Ceasar. Steak. Mmmmm. Must. Eat.. Now.
Well, I've had to spend this past weekend at Cedars, so I guess I'm on my way to joining the club.
No DuPar's in Studio City? Somebody once told me that was Larry Gelbart's standard breakfast spot.
Used to regularly see gaggles of known actors, both has-beens and still-ares (and presumably writers too, just not as recognizable) mysteriously swoop into Mel's Diner on Ventura in Sherman Oaks like clockwork. Turned out to be when the AA meetings at the church around the corner let out.
Tom Snyder used to refer constantly to the Smoke House when he has his MSNBC show from NBC/Burbank. I suspect he enjoyed the occasional Colortini there before heading home.
George Clooney's new production company is Smoke House.
OK, this has been driving me nuts all day. What was that deli-style place I used to go to years ago that was kind of open all night and, I think, located on the east side of either Beverly or Canon, south of Wilshire? It was the first place I had one 'o them Outback Steakhouse kind of exploding onion ring concoctions -- only they weren't rings, they were just a mass of deepfried onions that looked like Amy Winehouse's hair.
Could have been Hamburger Hamlet.
When I lived in North Hollywood 15 years ago (moved back to NYC where it was safe after the Northridge quake) I used to hang out all the time at Residuals! (My roommate, a writer, had a friend who worked as a waitress there).
It wasn't just that you could pay for the drinks with the checks, it was also that they would treat them as DOUBLE the value on the face...i.e. $.01 check = $.02 of buying power!
Back in my Comedy Store Days (Can it truely have been 28 years ago? Yup.), we would go to Cantor's at 2 AM. I saw genuine writer Hunter S. Thompson in there one night, dining with Bill Murray. It was like seeing President Kennedy eating with Vaughn Meador. (Under 50s, ask your parents to explain that one.)
But then, I never went in there without seeing Joe. E. Ross. I think he lived there. So, the answer to "Car 54 Where Are You?" was "Cantor's".
to a buck shorterr....
was it larry parker's diner?
from jswn
Had to be Hamburger Hamlet. They had a location on Beverly Dr, about a half block south of Wilshire. They had a greasy fried, onions, actually curly onions, on the menu.
TLB
D. McEwan:
> I saw genuine writer
> Hunter S. Thompson in
> there one night, dining
> with Bill Murray. It was
> like seeing President
> Kennedy eating with
> Vaughn Meader.
*That* is why I so much miss living in Los Angeles.
[sigh]
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